Home > Fiction > Conversation with the cat, or why I didn’t sleep well last night

Conversation with the cat, or why I didn’t sleep well last night

“Kitty,” I grumble. “What the hell are you doing?”


“Digging for ancient Chinese treasures,” she responds.


I can hear her in the dark of my room, and thought I can’t see her, I can already tell she’s making a mess.


“We’re in California, Kitty. There are no ancient Chinese treasures here. Go to sleep.”


“Yes there are!”


It sounds like she’s biting a box.


“Kitty, stop chewing on that box.”


“Buh dis esh whare id ez,” she says through a mouthful of cardboard.


“Wait, are you only attacking that box because it says, ‘Box Made in China?'”


The chewing noise stops, and I feel her jump onto the foot of the bed. “Why,” she growls, “must you crush all my dreams?”


We’re nose-to-nose, but she loses all hope of ever being frightening when she sneezes unexpectedly. I grab her and pull her under the covers as she claws at the sheets in a fruitless attempt to escape.

She's like 20x bigger now.

“Kitty, it’s 4 am. You need to sleep now.”


“I will kill you for this.”


“Sure you will. Now go to sleep.”


After a few minutes, she lets herself relax and begins to purr. I fall asleep, thinking I’ve won.


The clock reads, “4:43” the next time I wake up to a familiar chewing sound.


“God damn it, Kitty!”

Categories: Fiction
  1. Lauren Scheier
    October 20, 2011 at 12:15 pm

    This is so cute! I love your kitty. 😀

  2. Allen
    October 21, 2011 at 8:49 pm

    I read that as “Digging for ancient cheese treasures” …

  1. No trackbacks yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: