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Cat & Dog


            She glares at me, ears flat against her head. “Human,” she hisses, and her eyes narrow.

            I peer at her through one partially opened eye and sigh.

            “HUMAN!” she bellows and slaps my face.

            “God! What do you want?” Both eyes are now wide open, and I’m pissed off.

            “Turn on the water, please.” Her ears perk forward, and her eyes suddenly soften.

            “No. Do it yourself.” I roll over and pull the covers over my head.

            She pounces on me and tears at the blanket with her razor-sharp claws. “Human, don’t make me commit suicide! I’ll do it just to spite you!”

            I pull the covers down and roll back to face her. “I think you’re gonna have a hard time doing that. All the appliances are plugged into their res


pective chargers. There are no loose wires for you to chew on right now.”

            She sighs in defeat and begins to clean her face with a dainty, black and white paw. Her toes spread involuntarily as she licks between them, and I laugh at her.

            “Shaddup. I hate you.”

            “No you don’t, Seph. You love me, and you know it.” I pull her toward me. Dup snorts at us from the foot of the bed and nuzzles deeper into my calves. “Dup loves you, too.”

            I forcefully stuff her under the covers with me, and her ears are once again glued flat to her tiny head.

            “Hate you, hate you, hate you….” she mutters.

            “Love you, love you, love you,” I reply and kiss her nose.

            She licks the tip in response. “Filthy human,” she says, “why must you contaminate my pristine nose?” She begins to struggle, so I hold on tighter.

            Dup’s dreaming now. Her ears


 are pushed forward, as though she’s listening to something, and her legs begin to twitch. She begins to growl.

            Seph’s whole body becomes rigid.

            “Shhh! She’s dreaming,” I whisper.

            Though she’s lying on her side, Dup’s running. Her legs kick wildly, and all of a sudden, she springs up. Her eyes snap open, and she blinks a few times.

            “Hiya, Dup.”

            “Oh, Girl, I just had the best dream about raccoons. It was exhausting,” she yawns.

            She doesn’t see Seph before she collapses next to me in a huff. The cat bolts out of the blankets at lightning speed, Dup leaps up again and goes after her, and I roll back ov

Seph wouldn't pose for a photo, so here's an angry monkey instead. They're basically the same thing anyway.

er and once again place the covers over my head.

Categories: Fiction
  1. wade
    September 23, 2011 at 11:49 pm

    Very funny and so true!

  2. September 24, 2011 at 12:32 pm

    Seph and that angry monkey are twins!

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