Home > Rants > Blueberries and Tiny Paychecks

Blueberries and Tiny Paychecks

 

Since I’m officially broke, things are gonna have to change. The following is a list of things that will hopefully get me through to my next paycheck:

1. There are a bazillion blueberries in the fridge. I will eat them until I turn blue, and then I will eat some more.

 

2. I have stolen a Starbucks giftcard from my mother and the Marklar. If I don’t abuse it (which I probably won’t, since I’m still not having caffeine), it should last until my next paycheck…I hope.

 

3. I will–shudder!–wake up early enough to pack my stupid lunches.

 

4. I will subsist on nothing but leftovers and diabetes wheaties…with blueberries.

 

5. I shall move as little as possible in order to conserve energy.

 

6. When I run outta gas in my car, I’ll steal the Bear’s car. He’ll never see it coming. Ha!

 

7. I will not buy stupid things just because they’re purple and sparkley. Sparkly? Crap, I can’t spell.

 

8. Belly dance for food?

 

9. Work a lot of overtime to make the next paycheck bigger.

 

10. Keep eating blueberries….

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Categories: Rants
  1. August 6, 2011 at 12:22 am

    For those of you who are feeling sorry for her… 1) she will not starve 2) have you seen how many bright and shiny objects with which she decorates her body? 3) if she sold any of her bright and shiny objects she’d have plenty of dough 4) she doesn’t need to do that because she can easily go to the store and buy more snap peas or whatever other else weird food item she fixates upon 5) the dog definitely will not starve and the dog food store is located next to Safeway.

    However, I will say, that I am going to be gone for the next two weeks, so I suggest some of you go out to dinners and stuff with her. Thank you in advance for tending to my ‘special’ child.

  2. August 11, 2011 at 8:34 pm

    I am deeply resentful of this.

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